One fateful night Erin arrived at a party with a delightful tray of suckables. (Of course we did not know that thats what they were called at the time.) During a miscalculation amidst a Rockband™ solo, Dryte, while failing to suck responsibly (there are a few hours here that cannot be accounted for) became enamored with the idea of jager bombs in little convenient plastic cups. Thus the proud empire now known as Suck My Cocktails was born.
Then we got lab coats. The science of gelchemy became our new discipline. We toiled over our Bunsen burners and test tubes for the next 6 to 9 months. Our timeline is fuzzy at this point, but Dryte’s credit card clearly shows many pizza purchases. For science.
After assembling an elite research and development team (including the pizza guy), we created the gelixir. Thus did our art advance, allowing us to transmute hundreds of cocktails into glorious suckables. Literally hundreds. Hell, maybe a thousand; we are too busy being awesome and making new suckables to count them all.
Now you can taste the glory for yourselves. But please, please heed our warning and remember to suck more responsibly than Dryte.
